Let Them Be Little

ltbl1Most women are SO excited when they find out they are pregnant.  They are overjoyed to become a mom for the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc. time.   With my first child, Will, it took Todd and I a while to get pregnant because of a condition I have (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome).  After a year and a half of drugs, ultrasounds and doctor’s appointments… WE DID IT!!!  We were so excited and terrified at the same time!  My pregnancy was a normal one, I guess – accept towards the end… I had severe swelling and had to be put on bed rest.  I went into labor 3 weeks early and after SEVERAL hours I brought into this world the most beautiful baby boy – weighing in at 6 lbs 6 oz and 19 inches long.  The first time I held him -I knew I would be in love forever.  I remember that moment like no other – overwhelming in such a tremendously wonderful way.

Will is my love bug, my take-a-part-put-back-together of things, my gamer, my too-embarrassed-to-like girls, my has-trouble-paying-attention-loses-focus-very-easily, my karate-ninja, my Carter’s-best-friend-and-protector, my lover-of-ghost stories, my lover-of-all-things dog and cat…  I often wonder what the future holds for Will.  I see him being an engineer or carpenter… I also can see him being a preacher or politician because he never meets a stranger.  Will is a very like-able little guy… he has a good bit of friends and the little girls LOVE him – which embarrasses him.  I see great things for Will’s future… I love his heart, soul and mind.

ltbl2When Todd and I decided to have another child I just knew I would have to go through everything I went through to get pregnant with our first child.  Whelp… I was wrong!  Within 2 months we were pregnant.  More info than you probably want to know -but I think it is funny and really don’t care if you know – but I found out I was pregnant by taking a pregnancy test while I had Will sitting on my lap.  When I saw “pregnant” on the test – I literally fell off the toilet with Will in my lap. 🙂  When we found out that our second child was going to be another boy… we were both excited….. Excited because we had all the hand-me-downs from Will, we knew how to take care of a boy and we were overly excited for Will.  My pregnancy with Carter was normal up until we had one of the ultrasounds – the doctor informed us there was only 2 vessels in the cord.  You see, the umbilical cord of an unborn baby normally has 3 blood vessels – 2 arteries and 1 vein.  However, in 1% of babies  the umbilical cord has only 1 artery and 1 vein and GUESS WHAT –  our unborn baby was in that 1%.  Majority of the time the babies born with a 2 vessel chord are fine and have no problems but a 2 vessel cord can be a “soft sign” of a genetic disorder (like downs syndrome).  So – we had to travel to Baptist Hospital in Nashville, TN for 3 different ultrasounds to see if our unborn child was growing correctly and if the ultrasounds showed any abnormalities.  Long story short – we were told they did not think he had downs syndrome or any other problems.  The later part of my pregnancy I was put on bed rest because of swelling and hardly being able to walk.  Our second son, Carter, was born 3 weeks early – weighing in at 6lbs 11oz and 21 inches long.  He was a big boy for an early bird!  I was worried that the feelings I had when I first held Will I would not have for my second child – BOY WAS I WRONG!   The feelings were the same – if not more because now I had TWO loves of my life!  The feelings were absolutely AWESOME!

ltbl3I wonder more about Carter now since the diagnosis.  Carter’s intellect is brilliant.  He has the funniest personality… very matter-of-fact in his thinking.  He is a lover-of-all-musical-instruments, he loves anything Skylanders and Sponge Bob… he loves wart-hogs… he now is in love with ALL Dreamworks movies.  He blows my mind everyday with brilliant conversations that come out of his mouth.  He has behavior issues and is socially awkward.  He is my little “Rain Man”.   Yet – I wonder…  I wonder if he will have a “normal” life when he becomes an adult.  Will he be able to hold a job and be able to live on his own?  There are days that a big part of myself says, “Yes, he will be able to live a normal life.”  Then there are days when he has his breakdowns that I am so unsure.  I keep telling myself, “Shana, he is only FIVE years old.  You have plenty of time to get him the help he needs to have a some what “normal” life.”  Then I question myself – “What is normal?”  Deep down I think that Carter is meant for GREAT things… whether he be a musician, a scientist, an artist, a director or whatever.

I read about the brilliant people in the world that are and/or speculated to have been on the Autism Spectrum – such as…  Lizzy Clark, Alexis Wineman, Jonathan Lerman, Dan Aykroyd, Robin Williams, Abraham Lincoln, Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Graham Bell, Jane Austen, Mark Twain, Alfred Hitchcock, John Denver, Al Gore, Bill Gates, Bob Dylan, Charles Dickinson and the list goes on and on…  when I read about these people and their tremendous success in life… it gives me such hope for Carter.

It is my job to encourage both of my boys to never give up and never surrender.   I have given up on a lot of things in my life…  HOWEVER, this is one thing I will not give up on – I will not give up on being my boys advocate and cheerleader in whatever it is they want to do with their lives… I see big changes in my future, as well!

Look out world – the Hibdon boys are going to rock your world with their intellect and talents!  Get ready!



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