What Is Mom Doing For Herself?

shanaFor the past week I have been sick with flu.  During my illness I have had a lot of time to think about what to do now to help Carter with this new hurdle in his life “autism”.  I have also had great conversations with some wonderful people.  One person in-particular has opened my eyes about myself.  She and I became friends back in the blogging days. We come from totally different backgrounds – however, our hearts are the same.  While talking with her she asked me what I was doing for myself.   At first, the question took me back… what am I doing for myself?  She informed me it seems that all I was doing was thinking about what to do for Carter and my family but what am I going to do for myself… I haven’t thought about it.  She said that I sounded depressed and after she said that – it clicked that I am a little depressed.  She told me it is okay to have the feelings I have and it is okay to step away from the situation sometimes… First, I have to take care of me (my mental and physical state) before I will ever be able to take care of him in the way that I will need to.

todd_shana2-300x225I am not ashamed of my child having autism – I am overwhelmed.   All I think of is my children.  I rarely ever go out.  I am rarely ever in the presence of other adults (mainly because I work from home).  My weekday routine is – get up, get the kids ready for school, make their lunches, pack their snacks, get them in the car and either I or Todd, my husband, will take them to school.  Then I start working on the computer (I am a web designer), I may take a few phone calls from my boss or clients but mostly I am designing and programming, then when 2:00 pm rolls around I get in the car and sit in the school line for about 30 to 45 minutes waiting to pick up the kids.  Once I have picked up the kids, my life turns in to running the kids to whatever appointment they have, then on to the house where home work is the first thing when we walk in the door.  Luckily for me my husband is the cook and I do not have to worry with that.  Then it is a little bit of relax time with the family, baths, put the kids to sleep and once they are asleep then it is time for me to put in about 2 hours of work on the ole’ computer again – AND FINALLY there is this little thing called sleep.   So, really where is the me time?  The weekends are about the kids – being with the kids – trying to do fun things… Again, where is the me time?  Where is the Todd and I time?  Rarely is there any…

So, after talking to my wise friend… I have decided in all the crazy life happenings during the week that I am going to take 30 minutes to an hour of me time every day… I am going to soak in the bath, I am going to walk on my treadmill, I am going to write music again… I am going to find the “Shana” I use to know and I will not feel guilty about it.  I am also going to find the “Todd and I” time… he is the love my life and we need that time… again, I will not feel guilt about it AND that is okay!

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4 thoughts on “What Is Mom Doing For Herself?

  1. You have done a great job on this. I love this site and I know it will be a big help to other parents who are going through the same thing you are.

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  2. I have been reading through this! Love it–it’s so Shana

    I think of you every Thursday or Sunday night–when I watch Nashville! And feel like I know the Bluebird Cafe. (I’m a huge Connie Britton person)

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    • LOL! You know I thought I would love the show Nashville and I just CAN’T get into it. But it is so cool seeing everything Nashville on the show. 🙂 Love you!

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